Sitting back and reflecting on life so far, and all I can thinks is: “fuck I’m so gay.”
i’m so afraid about every single thing in my life right now there is not a one thing that is constant and that i’m not afraid about. i’m afraid of the cool things that are happening like making a FILM and i’m afraid of the bad things that are happening like tech and all that drama and i’m afraid of school and family and changes happening in my room rn and of my succulents dying even though they’re succulents i’m still afraid that they will die. i’m so afraid of everything and i’m so stressed out and i’ve had so many nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks the past two weeks alone and i’m freaked out and overwhelmed more overwhelmed than i’ve ever been in my entire life and i feel this incredible urge to just hide in my bed until the next two years of my life are over. but. things are gonna be ok and i have to push myself to do scary things that will turn out well in the end even if they’re cripplingly scary i just HAVE to do it and everything will be fine.
i mean. i was expecting it. but it still hurts A LOT. and today was soooo horrible that that was just like. the last straw. and he didnt even like acknowledge it? i feel sick and my mom was right about me being a lazy failure. i hate myself bye as hell
- didnt do my homework at all last night which is horrible because i had a huge essay due today but i feel like i had a valid excuse.
- i dont wanna do my homework at all today which is horrible and i dont have a valid excuse
- idk i just feel. kinda. sick.